NO Questions

There is something strange about me, or maybe with this world, or most probably with this life. And by that I mean everyone’s life, because they are all intertwined. We are all in the same boat, rowing the same ocean. Back to my weirdness: adding a new chapter. I hate this world; some could say I am an alien but whatever. The catch is that I hate it when I am happiest and with my loved ones. And why is that? Because this world is not meant for happiness. It cannot sustain that. And it eventually regains its equilibrium by spreading sorrow. Most likely on you, of some pain you buried long ago.

I hate life. Because it is unreasonable, unjustified and it never answers its whys. We all think there is a grand plan and maybe there is but why should I be a pawn in my own game? I hated this world, there was a reason, a why and I answered that. But in life, things happen, things that were never supposed to happen, things which benefit no one and they offer no why. Life is here to kill you. Maybe I am being unreasonable, but that is what life has taught me. This is not pessimism, neither a promise of hope and motivation. This blog is what it is supposed to be: unreasonable and irrational.

Between the sentences of banal talks lies the silence of our emotions. In those true expressions lies the pain of the heart. Ask me when it stops hurting and my answer, which may seem as a bullshit advice, says: if we are lucky then the pain never goes away. Losing the love of our life is the single biggest pain the heart may ever have to endure, and it does suffer. We think time heals and the pain goes away, or maybe we become immune to it, things feel brighter and better. But the pain persists, just below the smiles, a surface, and emotion. Just another day when we stare ourselves in the mirror we see that loss, the hole in our heart, visible in our eyes.

The fire which emanated in us out of love begins to burn the heart. Saturnine in conception who eats his sons and here the heart which gives birth to fire is burned by it. And all this, while the tears in a valiant but tragic attempt try to put it out. Wrong place, wrong time. Who thought even god’s would make this mistake in his most valued creation.

It’s quiet. We like quiet. It allows this unsaid to be put out in the open before the words flow. Lesson: there are no questions in life, no whys. There are answers, which make no sense. Quiet allows emotions to flow. Yes, we can never forget our first love, if ever we can actually love more than once. We can neither forget our true love. Both happen only once. They are special, inimitable, definitive and unreasonable. And with the same unreasonableness with which they happened, it so happens that you have to forget them. The only rational clause: if we have no control over how they happened, so we have no control if they are realized. And what if our first love is the true love? Or what if there is just one love, the first one?

NO questions.

Anything that doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and anything that makes us suffer makes us courageous. The fire is within us. And just like the pain it never extinguishes. It burns, sometimes silently and sometimes with force that can conflagrate the world and beyond. Love binds this world and also tears it apart. Irrationality and insanity rule the world. Why do things happen which benefit no one? Why is a person not allowed to have the love of his life? Why does not the person understand that no one in the world can love them more? If and when they do why is it that they refuse to accept it?

NO questions.

We walk this world alone. Stop looking for true love. It won’t happen again. You have loved with all your heart. You have hated the one to stop the pain. It’s is momentary pleasure, which will redouble and hurt you back. You can’t hate. You have loved and that is the truest feeling in this real-false world. You have carried that feeling allowed your heart and mind to be consumed by it. The fire has burned you and purged you. And now you stand as a man, who has loved-suffered-hated and loved. You stand as a testament to the courage that emanates from within.

True love never happens twice, not to you, not to anyone, but then you maybe someone else’s destiny, someone else’s love. In the boat you are supposed to row in the ocean with holding someone else’s hand. It is not what you heart wanted, but maybe it is the balm that you had been looking for since long. But again why couldn’t you be the love of the one you love. It happens, it has happened to others. But not to you. Why is it so? Is it unfair? Hold the hand a little more tenderly my friend, and now let that fire light you instead of burning you. Life is unfair, but maybe you can justify it for someone else. It is irrational, be a part of the randomness.  Maybe the hold of your heart was meant to be filled in a way you never thought it would be.

Keep rowing the boat in the direction of your dreams and let the fire light your way. It’s a large ocean, much larger than the hole in your heart. The yearning of the ocean is deeper than the irrationality of the world. Even the ocean is agitated over its lost love yet yearns since so long. And maybe at the bottom it all makes sense.

But why all this?

NO Questions.